Tuesday, June 18, 2013

TRUE LIFE: I'M A CONTROL FREAK

Anyone who knows me knows I'm a planner. That's what I do. I'm anal. I can't help it. I'm so anal that at times I even get frustrated with God because I can't figure out why my life doesn't go according to my plan. If you're the even the least bit religious I know you're shaking your head at me, insisting I have no plan, it all belongs to Him. I don't disagree but I honestly can't help it. I imagine I was a very detail oriented child. Playing house and making grocery lists while the other children actually played with the dolls.


I say this to say that recently I've decided to challenge myself to sit back and relax. I joined a group called Pinky Promise (another post for another time) and our June challenge is to be more obedient to God's timing. This applies mainly to my confusion about love, employment and education. But I've also applied it to my daily life. I'm the least punctual person ever but I hate being late to places and waiting on people. I hate gaps in timing so I tend to fill them with any applicable activities. I plan my life out weeks in advance and will give you an 'if looks could kill' glare if you second guess my habits. HOWEVER, I have decided to STOP. And what better time than the present? Today I had nagging thoughts about current finances, fall classes, more freelance contracts, my hairstyles for the weekend, my after work plans. One scripture silenced them all.


I need to learn to be more content. I spend so much time complaining about everything negative I don't embrace the positive. I spend so much time planning the future I don't enjoy the present. This can't be healthy. So yesterday I threw my plan out the window. It was made down to the minute, every detail from what I would order at dinner to what we would do when the movie was over. And I DITCHED it. Now that sounds like nothing to some but to me. Man! Me &the boy even purchased kid's tickets for the movie we decided on TOGETHER. The funny thing is I think my night turned out better because of my ditched plan. So. Not saying that I'll be canceling on folk left and right, flowing with the wind BUT, in addition to washing my hands of particular issues and handing them over to Him, I'm going to chill out on my intense need to plan out every singe aspect of my life.


photo recap of yesterday's random fun, minus the boy

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