Sunday, June 30, 2013

numb. or not. defines 'numb' as: "emotionally unresponsive." 

I thought I was numb but I'm actually the complete opposite of that. I've felt every emotion imaginable in the past 24 hours. Denial, frustration, anger, confusion, pain. I've laughed, cried, screamed. I took a walk. I took a nap. I ignored some calls. I answered some texts. I think I'm still in some weird, warped form of denial. The loss of a loved one is insane. It's motions you go through and emotions you're absorbed in. And it never gets easier. In fact, I feel like as you get older and as more people begin to return home way too soon it's like, "oh no, not another funeral!"

When I was younger I wasn't where I am religiously or mentally. I didn't fully understand the power of having your whole life ahead of you and making every moment count. I surely didn't understand that you can't question His timing. You rely on it daily so to question it is absurd. I'm stuck because even though we say, "life is too short" you don't actually believe that your circle could be penetrated by these four short words. But it happens far too often. It's happened far too often. 

Whenever I hear of someone passing I always ask God to cover my family and friends. And I mean it. Not because it's appropriate to say but because I've felt the pain of losing a loved one and I don't want to feel it again. I don't want anyone else to feel that feeling. My eyes are red from crying. My arms are tired from wiping my tears. My head hurts and I'm not sure if I'm thinking too hard or crying too hard. I know my heart didn't stop beating but at one point I'm certain I stopped breathing. It's so much to take in. Too much to take in. I don't want to stand in a house that I've come to comfortably for years and fidget awkwardly in front of someone's Mom or Dad because their child was snatched away from them and, as I struggle to say the appropriate things, I  realize I can barely find any words of comfort because I myself am mourning...  

Such is life I suppose...

Please keep the family + friends of Ali Atif in your prayers.

a picture's worth a thousand words so i'll keep looking thru these old photos because right now i am SPEECHLESS...

Saturday, June 29, 2013

An Open Letter to Wendy Davis

An Open Letter To Wendy Davis:

THANK YOU. You are an off screen gladiator in a suit. A teenage mother who
graduated from Harvard Law, with HONORS, is a strong woman in general but you went above and beyond, literally standing for what you believe in, and for that I am thankful. I am not a Texas resident. I am not even a fan of Texas legislation. I am also not a fan of the staggering abortion rate in Texas. HOWEVER, I am a WOMAN and I firmly believe in my right to choose. For every one of us that stands strong in support with you there is someone who stands in opposition. There are naysayers who believe your thoughts and opinions are far from genuine and your political outreach is a ploy to increase your political reach.

We live in a country where slavery was once the norm, women are currently underpaid in comparison to their male counterparts and same sex marriage is frowned upon and ruled against. America is not the 'land of the free' it is a stomping ground for big government to impose their thoughts and beliefs on the public. But not last night. Last night big government came close but not close enough. Forty years after a decision was made marking the union of a feminist army and we still demand to be heard over the voices of our peers.

I could go on and on attacking the legitimacy of this proposed legislation but your 13 hours have done us justice. This battle is not over. It is simply the beginning. I applaud you and those who rose on your behalf last night. I ABHOR the fact that people are so ILLIBERAL that they believe pro choice equates to pro abortion. I am not in support of abortion. I am not in opposition of abortion. I am a woman and I simply demand my right to choose. I thank you for speaking on my behalf.

#SB5 #WendyDavis #StandWithWendy

Twitter/Instagram: @ms_shady

Friday, June 28, 2013 is LIVE!

This weekend I was privileged to attend Blogging While Brown in New York City. A conference where brown ladies and gents from all cities and states came together for the love of blogging. I took away a lot of gems from this conference but what's most important is the art of unity and coming together to support each other. Your network is truly your net worth so I encourage you all to step out of your element, make at least one new contact a day, support anyone doing something you believe in, and encourage success in those around you. 

With that being said today is a special day for Ms Brittnee Boone. I met her the first day of the conference and I stopped to say hello because I noticed her shoes. Her website is and she contributes her posts to various other local blogs/websites. Check out her story below and be sure to visit her website, bookmark it, subscribe, follow her on Twitter/Instagram for the latest celebrity news straight to your timeline.

Twitter: @ih8mypublicist
Instagram: @ihatemypublicist

"24 year old Brittnee Boone was born and raised in a very small town called Bridgeton, New Jersey. In 2007 she branched out of her element and attended Delaware State University in Dover,DE. With a major in Broadcast Journalism Brittnee walked across the stage proudly during her 2011 commencement ceremony with aspirations of carrying out her dreams as a celebrity blogger. Things didn't quite go as planned right away.

Five months later Brittnee landed her first "real" job in corporate America as a sales assistant. All went well up until September of 2012 when Brittnee hit rock bottom. She felt like she had lost everything from friends to finances. It was a pivotal moment in Brittnee's life she knew she had to make things happen there was no time for self pity. So with her creative mindset and passion for celebrity entertainment writing she birthed the celebrity entertainment website

Brittnee exemplifies the true meaning of what it is to persevere. Brittnee has high hopes of connecting with her readers on a very personal level, especially young females through sharing her own personal experiences and by nurturing them with positivity and motivation.  We love to work with other female brands and are committed to women empowerment. Any female working hard to accomplish their dreams has our utmost support. When things get tough remember "Failure doesn't kill you it increases your desire to make something happen" -Kevin Costner is your new source for celebrity entertainment, fashion and music where we pride ourselves on delivering quality content in the most original way. If you hate your closet, radio and media you are in the right place because you are going to love ours. Sit back, hold on tight and get ready for an all new celebrity entertainment roller coaster experience. Enjoy ! "


Twitter/Instagram: @ms_shady

Thursday, June 27, 2013

I'm Just Saying...

So. The Trayvon Martin case is underway. If you're unfamiliar please, move. Folk were outraged at some of the evidence presented thus far, and for a good reason; photos of Martin's dead body at the crime scene was plastered on a projector screen as his parents looked away. Today's testimonies weren't any less demoralizing. Rachel Jeantel took the stand (again). The young woman who was on the phone with Trayvon during his final moments was picked to pieces. Her enunciation was attacked, opening a strong debate between whether she told detectives she "could" or "couldn't" hear some of Martin's last words. We learned of her inability to read cursive handwriting, and we saw her become obviously frustrated. This is all understandable. She's a working class teenage girl. I don't know of her upbringing but I also don't understand why it's important. No sooner than she was sworn in did Twitter attack. Excuse my ratch but, I'm not here for this! A 17 year old BOY lost his life and most of America is concerned with a key witness' level of education. Because your reading level determines how well you listen and comprehend. I forgot. I personally feel sorry for this girl. I couldn't imagine a guy I'm interested in being snatched away from me in such a high profile incident. Especially at that age. Especially if I was the LAST person, aside from his killer, to hear his voice. Jeantel is a CHILD who is being preyed upon. Our judicial system is disgusting. These circumstances are unfortunate. As a college educated, African American female my heart goes out to this young woman during this trying time. 

Now. Enough of that. Let's move on to this chick:


If you don't know who she is Google her. She's not on a box of Cheerios but she's talented.
Well. I thought she was talented. Let me flash back to a couple days ago. LoLo Jones had some, uh, ISSUES clearing the hurdle and then, THIS happened

She came in fifth place, MUCH to her surprise. Then in an effort to leave quick, fast and in a hurry, broke event protocol by leaving through the wrong exit. HONEY.

Misery sure loves company.
It's ok to cry. 

I HATE that some females are so CRITICAL. YES, I categorized. This hussy can't even do what she came to do but she has time to attack others. Whenever Twitter goes crazy it's never Omarion arguing with Bow Wow (remember the Scream Tours, omg!) it's always FEMALES going after other FEMALES. WHY??? Flash back to the MAJOR SHADE Gabby Douglas received over her Olympic hairstyle. Or. Lack of. BUT WHY?? Do we watch too much VH1 so we think demeaning each other is normal? I'm lost. I mean. I'm guilty of it at (RARE) times so if anyone figures out why this happens let me know so I can dead my issue head on. 

Do we all need to get together and burn some bras and hold hands and sing Exhale (Shoop Shoop) ??

I have the album if you guys think that's the answer.

Twitter/Instagram: @ms_shady


What's Your Status?

Today is National HIV Testing Day. Tests are FREE and CONFIDENTIAL! You shouldn't need a day to encourage you to #KnowYourStatus but TODAY is the DAY. As an incentive some testing centers even raffle off prizes. I think it's DISGUSTING if you're sexually active, have been or plan to be, and you need an INCENTIVE to push you to protect your health and the health of those around you. But. I'm just a basic blogger. My opinion doesn't matter. What does matter however are the FACTS. Maybe you'd prefer pictures over words? I highlighted what I think is most important below. Straight from the CDC. Don't believe me? Click the link:

Want to get tested? Click here: plug in your zip code &find the testing center near you!

#iknow #doyouknow #findout #GETTESTED #HIVAwareness

Twitter/Instagram: @ms_shady

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

A Message From Our Sponsors...

#BWBNYC was an amazing experience!  I've been blogging for about three years so I don't consider myself a beginner but I'm definitely not a veteran. That said, for beginning bloggers and even vets I would HIGHLY recommend this conference because there is something for everyone. I'll get into the speakers and panels in my following posts but first I'd like to show appreciation to the sponsors I enjoyed the most. This is a visual post. Be happy. I have lots to say in the following days, rest your eyes.

DISCLAIMER: All the sponsors were AMAZING but I interacted with some more than others. These are exclusively my thoughts. And pictures ;)

Colgate Optic White
Colgate sponsored our opening party. 
They provided us with a 'swag bag' of oral hygiene products and a specialty cocktail, 'Optic White'


TV Land's The Soul Man 
Sponsored our Saturday Breakfast 
(stay tuned for my post on their panel!)

Beautiful Textures
I won a year's supply of Beautiful Textures product so all my natural readers be sure to stay tuned because I'll definitely be doing some product reviews and sharing some product too!

The #itcanwait Campaign was present. I took the pledge! No driving and texting!
AT&T also sponsored our closing party with their specialty cocktail, Take The Pledge punch!
(they also gave away a couple phones but I didn't win. sad.)

Fruitvale Station
An extremely moving film based on the true story of Oscar Grant's death. 
So touching. Make sure you stay tuned for my review.

Twitter/Instagram: ms_shady

Sunday, June 23, 2013

#BWBNYC: 15 Panels in 15 Days!

Hey guys! Blogging While Brown New York City (#BWBNYC) is over but all the tips and info are still FRESH on my mind! I thank Gina for allowing me to be part of the team and I'm SO glad I attended. I met some wonderful people from the talented Karen Civil to the beginning bloggers living in my own city. Gina made sure we stayed on schedule and all the panelists were extremely approachable for questions and pictures. The main thing I took away from this weekend is to be authentic. I am my biggest asset. So I must be the best me that I can be. Which shouldn't be hard because I'm the only me there is!

In staying true to myself I've decided, instead of condensing all this info, I'd much rather touch specifically on what I took away. I sat through fifteen panels so over the next fifteen days I'll be sharing my thoughts and opinions on each individual session. I learned so much from this conference but because you guys weren't there next to me, simply feeding you facts and a reaction gives this information NO justice. It wasn't just fed to me. No monotones and standard facts. I was given personality, and background stories. Information was delivered with laughs and smiles. Struggle was never sugar coated but neither were the benefits of doing something you love. I needed this approach because it helps me to relate to the information and absorb it better. Hopefully my approach in giving my feedback is helpful for someone out there. Feel free to ask me any further questions and if you like what you read I suggest you make your way to Blogging While Brown 2014, back in NYC!

Twitter/Instagram: ms_shady

Thursday, June 20, 2013


I'm writing this from the Megabus headed to New York. If you know me you know that's pretty normal. I'm the Media Manager at a Home Decor firm in Gramercy Park so I'm either in NY or in Philly which means being on the Megabus going in any direction is the norm. However! Today is different. Tomorrow kicks off Blogging While Brown 2013 ;)

I'm the Facebook Team Lead which, simply put, means I handled Facebook promotion leading up to the conference. This means I know all about the schedule, speakers, sponsors and more. Which grants me the right to be EXTRA excited! A few bloggers I met in Atlanta at the Our Strong Conference* will be in NYC and all conference participants are available via Twitter and Facebook. This means reunions and new beginnings!


I can't even begin to explain how READY I am. Below is only a GLIMPSE of the schedule but #BWBNYC's amazing co-founder Gina McCauley secured some dope speakers and sponsors! Can you understand my anticipation?!

New associates. 
New business connects. 
New facts. 
New tips.
New job opps?!
Maybe drinks?! 

 I fumbled through my closet, debated on shoe selections, searched for white & did an eenie meenie miney moe with my hair products BUT my bags are packed, what's done is done and  MENTALLY I'm ready for all this weekend has to offer!

"and I never ever trip, just peace, happiness and LOVE..."

*Our Strong Conference 2013 Media Ambassador

Tuesday, June 18, 2013


Anyone who knows me knows I'm a planner. That's what I do. I'm anal. I can't help it. I'm so anal that at times I even get frustrated with God because I can't figure out why my life doesn't go according to my plan. If you're the even the least bit religious I know you're shaking your head at me, insisting I have no plan, it all belongs to Him. I don't disagree but I honestly can't help it. I imagine I was a very detail oriented child. Playing house and making grocery lists while the other children actually played with the dolls.

I say this to say that recently I've decided to challenge myself to sit back and relax. I joined a group called Pinky Promise (another post for another time) and our June challenge is to be more obedient to God's timing. This applies mainly to my confusion about love, employment and education. But I've also applied it to my daily life. I'm the least punctual person ever but I hate being late to places and waiting on people. I hate gaps in timing so I tend to fill them with any applicable activities. I plan my life out weeks in advance and will give you an 'if looks could kill' glare if you second guess my habits. HOWEVER, I have decided to STOP. And what better time than the present? Today I had nagging thoughts about current finances, fall classes, more freelance contracts, my hairstyles for the weekend, my after work plans. One scripture silenced them all.

I need to learn to be more content. I spend so much time complaining about everything negative I don't embrace the positive. I spend so much time planning the future I don't enjoy the present. This can't be healthy. So yesterday I threw my plan out the window. It was made down to the minute, every detail from what I would order at dinner to what we would do when the movie was over. And I DITCHED it. Now that sounds like nothing to some but to me. Man! Me &the boy even purchased kid's tickets for the movie we decided on TOGETHER. The funny thing is I think my night turned out better because of my ditched plan. So. Not saying that I'll be canceling on folk left and right, flowing with the wind BUT, in addition to washing my hands of particular issues and handing them over to Him, I'm going to chill out on my intense need to plan out every singe aspect of my life.

photo recap of yesterday's random fun, minus the boy

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Happy Father's Day

          My family is from Petersburg, VA and I spent a lot of my childhood down there. My great grandparents were the best. My great grandfather recently passed away but while he was here he and my great grandmother spoiled me and my siblings just as they spoiled my Dad and his. When my grandmother (Dad's Mom) was a teen she met my Grandfather, one thing led to another and BOOM, my Dad was born. Their relationship was rocky and abusive causing my grandmother to come up north where my aunts were already living.  My grandmother cut off contact with my grandfather so my dad was raised in a single parent household with my Pop and great uncles being a huge influence in his life. But from the way the story is told it seems like there was always a void. My dad stayed in and out of trouble, from Philly to VA, and I never asked him what he was running from or to but I kind of have an idea. 
          Fast forward to now my dad has met my mom and he's still in and out of jail, minimal guidance from his dad, mainly from my Pop, but eventually he got it together. Jump back to the top and I spent A LOT of time with my grandparents. My dad showed his love by spending time and, yup, you guessed it, money. Little does he know I remember the time the most. My dad taught me how to drive, he attended every band performance, dance recital, oratorical contest and parent teacher conference. He bought me pads and purses. Sneakers and dresses. He took me on movie dates, dinner dates, shopping sprees. He took me to my first concert! I saw NSYNC in a brand new Guess set with bright blue Keds. My dad was THERE. But he was never THERE. We talked but looking back it wasn't about much. For a while when I was growing up I was so BITTER. All the boys around me thought my dad was the coolest. He picked me up from school often in his big black Ford. He cooled off a lot after his last visit to prison but he always had a little hood in him. His presence was intimidating. His decisions were often based on his past and not his present. I felt like people thought they knew but they had NO idea. But I love him in spite of it all.
          As I grew older I realized that my expectations for my dad we based on society's views not the reality of the situation. I mean really, at age 13 who can say, "my dad never had a dad but he's trying the best he can!" At age 25 I can say that but at age 13 I couldn't. As I grew older my relationship with my dad strengthened and I began to understand things better. My dad was the best dad he could be IN SPITE OF IT ALL.
Me &My Dad after my Great Grandfather passed away.

Saturday, June 15, 2013


I am SLACKING! I haven't uploaded a post in what seems like FOREVER! Caught up in Blogging While Brown prep, Lazy Susan paperwork, revamping iSocialite and a million other obligations. HOWEVER, that's no excuse. This is my baby. My personal space that I've decided to share with you guys so I need to get it together. I know, I said that last month, but we all have our moments. In the meantime, visit to stay up to date on the latest entertainment news ;)

Bold, Brown, & Beautiful

"She's cute for a dark skinned girl."  "Stop acting light skinned." We've heard all these phrases. ...