Thursday, July 25, 2013


At this point in life I have so much I could complain about. School. Work. Family. Love. You name it, I can complain about it. But I won't! Because the flip side of these possible complaints is that for every single one, I can find more than one thing to be thankful for. We ask for so much. I ask for more freelance gigs, I ask God to wake my Adam, I ask God to send me someone to pay my tuition, but I realized I don't need more things to thank him for I need to be more thankful. When I figured this out everything around me began to make more sense. So. Today I wasn't in the best of moods and I felt like my patience was being tried but instead of lashing out I looked up because there's so much to be thankful for I won't waste a second pondering what ifs and why nots, instead I'll be thankful for what I do have, because I know there's more where that came from.

Ten Things I'm Thankful For

1. God. The power of prayer. The FAITH I have in his actions. 

2. Friends. I won't name names but I guarantee you that at least one of my friends is better than two of yours put together.

3. Sales. I love a bargain. Sales are amazing. I wouldn't have a lot of the stuff I have had it not been for a sale.

4. Red Bull. Well energy drinks period. People always ask do they really help, and they do. Not for long. And sometimes the crash is REAL, but without energy drinks I probably would have slept some amazing moments away.

5. Happy Hour. This can be related to number 3 in a way but there's nothing better than quality liquor sold cheap. Period. It's not up for debate.

6. Wifi. Especially if you have AT&T &ur not Grandfathered in. MAN. The struggle is REAL.

7. Student Discount. This can go back to number 3 as well. I love discounts. Girls High, Penn State, CCP, MontCo, Temple, CHC, CUNY, Hard Knocks, which school ID would you prefer?

8. Music. Such an amazing creation. The words, the melody. I love everything about music. I even loved a DJ once but I'll save that story for my memoirs.

9. Caller ID. It's crazy how when we were younger we just used to answer calls without screening them!

10. LIFE. I wake up, I live. I can live reckless, I can play it safe, I can make a wrong decision, I can learn from my mistakes. I lost two people close to my heart in one month. They can't live. Jesus died for our sins. I have a sound mind and solid savings. I have no excuse to not live and every reason to.

@ms_shady (Twitter/Instagram)

Monday, July 22, 2013

press PLAY.

Music is my boyfriend. When I'm down and out, it makes me smile! It's the perfect balance of venting, praying, and listening to some good music that keeps me afloat. I was texting my silly goose Cali and I thought about how much music can really help you through a situation. The Bible places a huge emphasis on hope, faith and love so I got to thinking about a couple of my go to songs to help me out when I've lost hope, I'm lacking faith and in need of love. Don't get me wrong, prayer, personal time, venting, and all that are good modes of restoration but what's life without a soundtrack??

India.Arie, There's Hope
India.Arie said it well:
 "it doesn't cost a thing to smile, you don't have to pay to laugh, you better thank God for that..."
"that's when I learned a lesson, it's all about your perspective..."
I remember a time that I felt down and out and I almost CRIED listening to these lyrics. It IS all about perspective. Hope is often defined as an expectation. You HOPE things work out. You EXPECT things to work out. I'm not delusional, I understand that some things just won't work out, but there's ALWAYS HOPE. Besides, they say some people lie so much they begin to believe their lies. Well I'm about to smile so much that even in the darkest situations I believe there's HOPE.

Mary Mary, Can't Give Up Now
"nobody told me, the road would be easy/and I don't believe, He brought me this far, to leave me"
WELL, those lyrics are pretty much self explanatory. According to the Bible, 'faith is the assurance of things hoped for'. THE ASSURANCE. Sometimes, I must admit, I tend to lose faith. Things aren't going the way they should and I'm just talking to Him, wondering how he could let things get this bad. It doesn't happen frequently but every now and then I lose FAITH. Now after having written the definition just before typing this, the term 'lose faith' sounds like an oxymoron. If I don't have anything else I need to have FAITH. It's hard. How many things can you ASSUREDLY declare? I KNOW this will happen. I KNOW that will happen. I can't say that about much but as many times as I have began to lose my grasp on hope there's a million times that He has proven to me that my FAITH in him, my unwavering certainty in his actions, is justified. I don't know a lot of things but what I do know is that I believe those lyrics and I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me. GAME ON ;)

Chrisette Michele, Best Of Me
"my momma made me much wiser/what's mine will be just for me..."
I like this song because it doesn't discuss a blame. I don't know if she cheated on him or if he just up and left her but I do know that she has an extremely positive outlook. She doesn't care that he's moved on; she's happy for him. She acknowledges she's affected; she can't sleep. HOWEVER, she's ACCEPTING it and KNOWS that one day she'll find a love like the love she thought she found when she found him. Ya'll know what I mean! She doesn't even sound exhausted. That's another post for another time but some breakups are EXHAUSTING. This is a very light song. She understands that he's not for her. That's a hard pill to swallow because sometimes we want people so much we're like toddlers, forcing puzzle pieces together. She's not focused on him in this song, she's trying to find HERSELF. Some tend to lose themselves looking for love. She lost love and she's looking for HERSELF. Some of us claim to have found love but still haven't found themselves. But. Again. That's another post for another time.

I could go on and on with song lyrics and my opinion but I was just in the mood to jot these thoughts down. Do you have a go to playlist? We all need one.

(conversation with Cali earlier)

@ms_shady (Twitter/Instagram)

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Programming...

Hey guys! SO, I think I've finally got my mojo back! Lately I've let life get me down and I've been in this FUNK. I stink you guys! But I'm pushing forward and I SEE THE LIGHT! *pause for dramatic 'epiphany' music*

In light of everything that has happened I think my withdrawal is acceptable however, from a business standpoint, it's NOT acceptable. I'm not beating myself up but I am pushing myself forward. HARD.

Last week I had the wonderful pleasure of attending Kitty Bradshaw's 5th Blogiversary and there I won a 10 Day GM car rental to be used for a future car ride. So many topics in my head, so many blogger meet ups and events on my schedule. It took me a while but I'm coming out of this funk and I'm SO thankful. Sometimes you just have to sit and be. I sat. I'm up now. Hey ya'll hey!!!!

@ms_shady (instagram/twitter)

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Dear Diary...

Dear Diary,

So. Clearly I haven't posted anything in about two weeks. I blame this little fact on LIFE. Well, actually, I would LIKE to blame life but I think I will blame REALITY instead. Life goes on around me and mentally I sometimes shut down. Luckily for me, when it comes to work I move in autopilot so I don't have to be fully present mentally to get the job done physically. 

Well. At least that's what I thought. These past two weeks that I haven't written I lost two people very close to me. One I grew with for almost a decade and one I've watched grow. One whom I share a bloodline with and another who is family but doesn't share a drop of blood with me. I pushed myself to keep going because I know life will keep going around me and I fear I'll get left behind. I force myself to bury my emotions because I don't want to appear broken, although if anything were to break me this would be it. I force myself to not only stand up straight and shake it off, but I hold others up and encourage them to move forward. If I'm not a hypocrite I don't know who is.

 I'm trying to become more in tune with my emotions. Whatever that means. It's hard because it's something new and unfamiliar but I feel as if it's necessary. Recently I felt like life was suffocating me. I feel like life is suffocating me. I think my biggest mistake came when I tried to push myself forward too soon. I won't share a proposal until its perfect. I won't post a recap until I've read, shared, and re-read. Basically I never do things prematurely. I have no idea why I never thought to apply my business life to my personal life. I shouldn't try to force myself through things. I need to take time to myself, come to terms with life, then move forward. One of my biggest fears is that I will become complacent with what I consider to be mediocrity. But. If I continue to delay my personal growth there's no way I can thrive professionally because as much as I try to separate the two lives I still am and always will be only one person.
@ms_shady (instagram + twitter)

Bold, Brown, & Beautiful

"She's cute for a dark skinned girl."  "Stop acting light skinned." We've heard all these phrases. ...