Skip to main content

Happy Father's Day

               
          My family is from Petersburg, VA and I spent a lot of my childhood down there. My great grandparents were the best. My great grandfather recently passed away but while he was here he and my great grandmother spoiled me and my siblings just as they spoiled my Dad and his. When my grandmother (Dad's Mom) was a teen she met my Grandfather, one thing led to another and BOOM, my Dad was born. Their relationship was rocky and abusive causing my grandmother to come up north where my aunts were already living.  My grandmother cut off contact with my grandfather so my dad was raised in a single parent household with my Pop and great uncles being a huge influence in his life. But from the way the story is told it seems like there was always a void. My dad stayed in and out of trouble, from Philly to VA, and I never asked him what he was running from or to but I kind of have an idea. 
          Fast forward to now my dad has met my mom and he's still in and out of jail, minimal guidance from his dad, mainly from my Pop, but eventually he got it together. Jump back to the top and I spent A LOT of time with my grandparents. My dad showed his love by spending time and, yup, you guessed it, money. Little does he know I remember the time the most. My dad taught me how to drive, he attended every band performance, dance recital, oratorical contest and parent teacher conference. He bought me pads and purses. Sneakers and dresses. He took me on movie dates, dinner dates, shopping sprees. He took me to my first concert! I saw NSYNC in a brand new Guess set with bright blue Keds. My dad was THERE. But he was never THERE. We talked but looking back it wasn't about much. For a while when I was growing up I was so BITTER. All the boys around me thought my dad was the coolest. He picked me up from school often in his big black Ford. He cooled off a lot after his last visit to prison but he always had a little hood in him. His presence was intimidating. His decisions were often based on his past and not his present. I felt like people thought they knew but they had NO idea. But I love him in spite of it all.
          As I grew older I realized that my expectations for my dad we based on society's views not the reality of the situation. I mean really, at age 13 who can say, "my dad never had a dad but he's trying the best he can!" At age 25 I can say that but at age 13 I couldn't. As I grew older my relationship with my dad strengthened and I began to understand things better. My dad was the best dad he could be IN SPITE OF IT ALL.
Me &My Dad after my Great Grandfather passed away.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

REVIEW: Arden Theatre Company's: 'A Raisin in the Sun'

Joilet F. Harris as Lena Younger in  A rden Theatre Company's production of A Raisin in the Sun. Photo: Mark Garvin  "What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?" This question silently echoes through the audience during the Arden Theatre Company's production of " A Raisin in the Sun. ' This historical tale takes us almost day by day through the 'dreams' of the Younger  family  as they await the delivery of a life insurance check. With the title pulled from the lines of one of Langston Hughes' most popular works, we witness the Younger  family 's dreams being threatened.  L-R: Jaleesa Capri as Beneatha Younger, U.R. as Walter Lee Younger, Joilet F. Harris as Lena Younger, Nikki E. Walker as Ruth Younger, Yannick Haynes as Travis Younger  in Arden Theatre Company's production of A Raisin in the Sun. Photo: Mark Garvin Set inside the Younger's home in South Side Chicago during the 1950s,...
Post a Comment
Read more

numb. or not.

TheFreeDictionary.com defines 'numb' as: " emotionally unresponsive ."  I thought I was numb but I'm actually the complete opposite of that. I've felt every emotion imaginable in the past 24 hours. Denial, frustration, anger, confusion, pain. I've laughed, cried, screamed. I took a walk. I took a nap. I ignored some calls. I answered some texts. I think I'm still in some weird, warped form of denial. The loss of a loved one is insane. It's motions you go through and emotions you're absorbed in. And it never gets easier. In fact, I feel like as you get older and as more people begin to return home way too soon it's like, "oh no, not another funeral!" When I was younger I wasn't where I am religiously or mentally. I didn't fully understand the power of having your whole life ahead of you and making every moment count. I surely didn't understand that you can't question His timing. You rely on it daily so to que...
2 comments
Read more

Bold, Brown, & Beautiful

"She's cute for a dark skinned girl."  "Stop acting light skinned." We've heard all these phrases. Some of us even say these phrases. But under the surface what do they mean to us? The other day I walked by a young girl with a cute puffball ponytail. She complimented me on my hair and I smiled, exchanging compliments with her. As I kept walking I started to wonder if she liked my hair because it was long and straight or if she really, at about 8 or 9, liked my teased mane. It may sound conceited but I really worry about our female youth. I automatically thought about the infamous Oprah baby doll episode. Then I thought about Chris Rock's 'Good Hair' documentary. One thought led to another and I wanted to hug every little brown girl I saw because the media pushes so much on them I just want to protect them. But then I thought about it and in this situation you sort of have to work from the top to the bottom because if we're the li...
Post a Comment
Read more